BLIZZARD NIGHTMARE ON 72ND STREET

Friday morning we awakened to the beautiful white wonderland, this is the stuff they write songs about, Winter Wonder Land. Well we tried to get an early start to work on Friday morning so we could avoid traffic congestion due to the "Blizzard Warning" I love the news report, 24 hours of non stop, minute to minute details of the Wisconsin weather that has been around since the ice age. I think most people who report the news here are from out of town. So later that day I received a call from Captain Candy that they are letting him out early due to the storm. Just as I was looking forward to staying a bit late on Friday afternoon to catch up on some of my patient charting. Well, I thought we could at least get a head start on shovelling tonight, given I am the one who will be doing the work. Captain Candy can't use his right shoulder to shovel so guess what, Oh yeah, that's right, I am the women to do the job. Well I thought....Looking at our driveway as I pull in, I thought to myself I can do this, I am physically fit. So I went to the garage to take my pick of tools to get the job done. The nice straight edge shovel. I proceeded to start at the end of the drive way after clearing the back stairs and a little pathway to the car. I scooped up a hunk of snow and tossed it over my shoulder only to find half of the dam snow still stuck to my shovel, UGH! So I tap the shovel on the ground to get the extra snow off and proceed again. Only to find that I am doing double the work and not accomplishing anything. I looked up at the driveway and down our front sidewalk and said the hell with this shit, were getting a snow blower!

So off we go to Home Depot to get us a brand new smokin blower. SOLD OUT! Lowes here we come. SOLD OUT! DAM! Now we are on our way back home, dejected and trying to figure out how we are going to remove the snow. Sitting at home pondering up plan B, the phone rings out relief, it's Tony G, saying what about SEARS? Click and before you knew it we were speaking with a lawn and garden rep at Sears. One left, but with no manual. We'll take it! We got the last clearance model of a Craftsman 8.5 HP snow thrower. Rushing home with big smiles cause our snow dilemma is coming to an end. By now it was getting a little bit late on a Friday night and it appeared we were the only house to have not cleared the side walk. So I help Captain Candy unload the huge box out of the Element on to the street. Just as we were tearing the box apart our neighbor was outside walking the dog says, " your not going to do the driveway now are you? blah, blah, blah has to get up in the morning. Ty continued to work on putting it together as I went into the house and looked at the clock and then opened the front door to tell him it was almost 11:00PM and we need to call it quits.

Awakening eagerly with excitement, Captain Candy Ass jumped out of bed, slammed a few cups of Alterra Joe (best shit in town), and booked out the door. My mind is at rest knowing that in a couple of minutes our Nightmare is going to be resolved. 15 minutes later... hmmm, no sound out there. Ty comes into the house stating we have no key for the snow thrower. I said "What the #%*!" So now Captain Candy is on the phone with SEARS trying to get a key. They say, we'll call ya back. 15 minutes later, no phone call. So Captain called them back and they said, we found the manual and key come get it. Off we go to SEARS in Brookfield, to get our key to finish the DAM job.

Before I could park the car, Captain Candys foot was out the door heading towards the garage with key in hand. As I stand in the middle of the driveway watching him rev the engine of his new Craftsmans 8.5 HP snow thrower, I couldn't stop and think....What a little boy I have. So I could see the look on his face of pure excitement and as he took the Bull by the horns and proceeded to clear the driveway. POOOF!!! All I see now is a cloud of snow. The snow settles and there stands a snow covered Captain Candy, looking bewildered. His new Crappman 8.5 HP snow cannon blew a hole right threw the snow chute. Frustrated and dejected, not to mention pissed off, Captain Candy turned into inspector gadget. Flattening an empty soda can and using duct tape to patch the hole. There it is! New and improved!